Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday, February 18, 2015

As we begin the journey of Lent, Sam & I have spent time in conversation about God’s abundant graces available to us.  In a reflection we read in Adoration this week, we both were challenged to look closely at these powerfully spoken words.  "When we come to the Lord with fasting, with generous almsgiving, and with prayer, God rewards us by changing us into His image one step at a time."

Lent is not only a time of renewal, it is a time for hope and joy as we look forward to what God is prepared to do in our hearts.  It is a time to be open to listening more closely to Our Loving Father in our prayer time.  It is a season for a greater focus on nurturing our relationship with God and each other.  Doing this, we will reap the tremendous gift of Jesus’ renewing graces and the selfless love that He wants to build up in us, as we reach out tenderly loving and caring for each other, for our family and those we encounter throughout the day. 

Making some changes and some specific commitments is the key for us to have a good start on our Lenten Journey.  We came up with lots of ways to fast, give alms and pray, to spend more quality time with God and each other.  Our list included ideas like: less internet or facebook, less TV, less busyness, less negativism or worrying.  It also included ways that we can grow in our prayer through our daily meditation of God’s word as well as stepping forward together affirming others of their goodness and talents with encouraging words.  We hope to replace our worries and concerns with newfound trust and confidence as we continue to build a deeper relationship in the Lord.

Blessed Teresa of Calcutta asks us to remember five simple rules:  1. Free your heart from hatred.  2. Free your mind from worries.  3. Live simply.  4. Give more.  5. Expect less.  As we strive for holiness each day, our Lenten practices whatever chosen will help us on our journey to become more generous, compassionate and kind, making a difference in the world around us.   We are making our commitment to join Jesus in the desert by “proclaiming our fast,” to live more simply during these Forty Days of Lent.  We may struggle at times or even fall.  Yet, we pray that we will emerge with a heart more like His, loving more fully and dedicated to live a simple life inspired and empowered by God through the Holy Spirit.

Blessings to You on your journey of love through Lent. 

Peace, Liz and Sam

A Valentine's Day tribute to my wife

I have been blessed to have known my wife for over 25 years.  We met young, she was 18 and I was 20.  We grew up together and at times it was hard, painful and full of tears.  At other times it was sweet, loving and full of joy.  Most marriages are like that I suppose.  I just feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to love her all these years. 

I remember her strength as a mother.  Staying up late and getting up early.  One time she went away for the weekend on retreat and our baby didn't want her bottled breast milk, dang it, she wanted the real thing.  I held out all Friday night and most of Saturday and since she had only taken a few sips of water or milk, I caved and drove to the retreat.  My head was hanging in shame, that I couldn't even last a few days.  There was no look of pity thrown my way, or angry words of needing time away.  Instead, my beloved lovingly held our oldest child, feed her, and we all feel asleep.  My wife is a patient and loving woman.

There was a time when money was scarce and the bills were mounting.  Our tempers were short and over the course of time, more and more arguments happened.  She kept on ending these “talks” with us praying for mercy and understanding.  I personally had a hard time settling down to pray and still to this day I am thankful that I have a wife that relies on God to get us through the tough times.

About seven years ago, I was offered a job in the Midwest and we had never lived more than an hour from the Atlantic Ocean.  I was excited about the opportunity and my partner was nervous.  We had never lived so far away from family.  Mostly we had lived within 90 minutes of our parents and siblings.  Aunts, uncles and cousins were never too far away for holidays and parties.  Now, we had the decision to move away from all of that to start anew.  With hands held together and our foreheads touching we prayed for guidance.  The love of my life is trusting, not in me always, but in Our Lord.

During these years away from our roots, we have been blessed to have met a wonderful group of friends.  These friends have turned into family and have made life wonderful.  My rock, has now found a group of girlfriends that she leans on and helps them when needed.  I have seen her grow in her faith and it has been one of my life’s treasures to have seen her blossom in this way.  My rock knows Jesus and is one of His disciples.

Our kids are getting older, the youngest is hitting those early teen years and testing us, the middle is about to enter high school and the oldest is readying herself for college next fall.   Through all this it is again my oldest that teaches me something about the woman I love the most.   You see, my oldest is going through the typical emotional roller coaster of having a blast with her high school friends and still looking at the future with both joy and trepidation of the unknown.  My wife has sat down with her and talked about the changes that she is experiencing and about to experience.  I have no clue if her words of wisdom are falling on deaf ears or not.  I hope my child is listening, for my wife was 18 once, on that day we first met.  She was beautiful, full of energy just bursting with enthusiasm and just little hesitant on the first day of her college career, just like my daughter will be.  My spouse has faith in Jesus Christ.

On this February 13^th, I treasure the lady that I am lucky enough to call my wife.  I haven’t bought her chocolates or flowers.  There is no big expensive jewel hidden somewhere in the house.  You are a gift from God to me.  You are the only real jewel in our home.  My jewel is loving, strong, patient, trusting, prayerful, and faith filled; that is my wife.  I adore you sweetheart, you are my everything and I never want to be without you.  Thank you for taking this journey with me and may our Lord always be at the center of our marriage.  

Theology of the Body

I feel like my curser is mocking me right now.  It just keeps blinking and blinking and so does my mind.  Baby #5 is testing the limits on sleep and well that’s life; so I’m a bit empty brained these days. 

What in the world does that have to do with marriage?  Well, kinda everything – at least that’s what St. Pope JPII the Great teaches us: self-donative love… a.k.a. Theology of the Body.  I’m not an expert in the teaching, but I think I have a pretty good grasp of it.  See, we’re called to love everyone: God, spouse, children, and even strangers with our bodies.  Please, oh please, I do not mean that you should start physically handling everyone that you meet, please don’t.  What I mean is that giving of ourselves fully and completely to those people that God has placed into our lives is a way of fulfilling His Great Commission.  That could mean holding a sick baby all night, rubbing your son’s head as he walks by just to show you’re there and you care, or holding a door open with a smile for a stranger.  These are all very simple ways that we use our bodies for love.

When my husband and I were engaged, I was talking to my spiritual director and somehow I made the comment about wanting to have a honeymoon baby.  He stopped me immediately.  He explained to me that conceiving immediately after marriage would be a great blessing and gift from God, but it should not be my objective.  I needed to take this time to prepare to be a wife first, then mother if God was to bless us.  As a young Catholic woman preparing for the sacrament of marriage, learning NFP, theology of the body and all those other amazing gifts our Church has for engaged couples, I was focused on a very specific form of physical love.  When Fr. Mark suggested that I concentrate on being a wife first, I realized that I was wrapping myself around the grandeur of marital love (and it is beautiful and life-giving for a reason), but I couldn’t see past it to the “messy” side of marriage.  The one where little angels are all around, your house and hair are a mess, toys and laundry are all over your bed and marital love doesn’t look the same as on the honeymoon night.

That’s one of the beauties of Theology of the Body: if we truly strive to understand what the Church teaches us about sex and marriage, then we see the greatness in all forms of love.  Physical love with our spouse is not always going to be like the wedding night, but it is beauty in every area.  Just as it is extremely important for me to reach out and touch a child as they pass by me, it’s even more important for me to show love to my husband. 

So how, in this busy, crazy stage of life we are in, can I have self-donative love for my husband?  Even in times of abstinence?  It’s kinda simple: love in everyway and with my whole body.  That’s what Fr. Mark meant when he told me to be a wife first and then a mom.  I had to learn to love my husband so that when it wasn’t just the two of us, and sexual union wasn’t as available, we would still thrive.  It can be a sweet text message, note in his wallet or lunch, a touch as he walks by.  Sometimes we forget that the small things speak the loudest, like holding hands.  Not only does it show the one we love that we want them near us, but think of what it speaks to your children.  My husband and I try very hard to always give the sign of peace with a kiss to each other first, then our children; because we were together first (and sometimes after getting five kids ready for Mass we might need to give each other some peace!)  Yes, this time in our marriage is messy and yes, my shirt right now has multiple stains on it and I can’t tell you who and where they came from; but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

--Jessica Maddox