Patience in my Vocation

My husband, Mark, and I joined a spiritual marriage group (Teams of Our Lady) almost 2 years ago. We were hesitant at first, even turning down the first invitation, concerned that we hadn’t the time. However with a little more prodding, we decided to jump in. Since then, we have been very happy with the decision. Within these past two years, we have been afforded many graces in our marriage and we continue to see the benefits unfold—especially the gifts of mutual understanding and appreciation.

One specific struggle I continue to face, though, is a lack of patience. I realize this is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. However I just can’t ever seem to have enough, especially with those I love the most. We have four kids, so it is easy to see that there are a lot of personalities living under one roof. I feel challenged with the daily grind—getting kids to where they need to be, work schedules, sports schedules, laundry, housekeeping, etc. Everyone knows the daily grind! But when things aren’t going as planned, or when I don’t feel supported enough, the first thing that seems to disappear is my patience. And then no one is happy!

I discussed this recently with a priest. How can I be so impatient and sometimes just mean to those I love the most? He gave me advice that really rang thorough to these wooden ears. I was advised to remember that my marriage and family is my vocation—this is my pathway to heaven. Wow. My pathway to heaven? Really? Driving kids all around creation, disciplining sassy mouths and picking up Mark’s laundry off the floor (when the hamper is three feet away) … that’s my pathway to heaven?

Contemplating that more, when we chose to get married, we could have simply gone to a justice of the peace or perhaps used an internet-ordained minister. It would have been quicker and a whole lot cheaper! Instead, we desired to get married and exchange vows in the Church, before God. We made a promise not only to each other, but more importantly to our Creator, that we would love and serve each other always—not just when life is fun and interesting, but also when life is, well, full of frustrations.

So as I enter this new year, I pray that God provides me with more and more patience so that I in turn can provide a more holy and enjoyable household for my family. “Be careful what you pray for,” I recently heard someone say, “for God always provides.” So in praying for more patience, I suppose I need to be prepared to encounter or at least recognize the little everyday frustrations in life. In doing so, I hope to be able to take a deep breath, take a step back, count to 3, do a yoga pose—whatever my calming technique is for that particular day—and handle that sassy mouth, that spilled milk that trickles into the crack of the table, or those (men’s) size 13 camo crocs that I’m always tripping over with more grace than I did before. And with that, I will know that I’m one step closer on my pathway to heaven.

Melanie and Mark Pilkenton