I read with interest Kate’s “A New Perspective” post from
last week, paying special attention to her description of her husband Mike as
her “soul mate.” The idea that we are
somehow mystically joined to another human being and do not feel fully complete
until we find him or her might sound overly romantic to our 21st
century ears and a little bit like a classic script for a movie of the week on
the Oxygen channel. It definitely sets
the bar dangerously high as a descriptor for the relationship between my
husband and me on those days when there are too many diapers, debts, and dirty
dishes. Nothing mystical happening
there!
Or is there more to it than meets the eye? You only need to get a few pages into
scripture to discover that there is, indeed, something much more powerful
happening in a marriage than a business partnership to share household
duties. In Genesis 2, God creates Adam
out of the dust of the earth and breathes life into him. Adam is lonely, so God creates the animals
one by one and brings them to the first man to see if any one of them is a
suitable companion. But Adam’s heart is
not satisfied until God creates Eve. And
this is the part of the story that I find really interesting…
When God decides to create a partner for Adam, He doesn't
shape a creature out of the dust in the same way He did with Adam. Instead, the
Creator uses Adam’s rib as the primary building block of this new
creature. There’s got to be something
pretty important about this! If you
think about it logically, God already had a ready-made blueprint for creating a
human. It would have been easy for God
to just kneel right down and create another human out of the dust. But – he
doesn't. God didn't need Adam’s rib as raw material to get a person started, but
instead He must have used it intentionally to show us something. When I close my eyes and imagine the creation
of Eve, I can’t help but think that it is suggesting that we are made to be in
relationship with each other. I love the
idea that I have a little piece of my husband, Tim, is in me and that until he
found that piece, there was always something a bit missing from his life (and
vice-versa, of course!).
Every year, our family vacations at a resort where we have
family-style Olympics. In one of the
games, boys and girls are separated by gender and blind-folded. Each participant has an animal name whispered
into his or her ear. Then, at the sound
of the whistle, everyone begins making the noise of the animal until you find
the other person who is making the same animal sound. It’s funny to watch everyone stumbling around
aimlessly until they find their mate.
Then they join hands, rip off their blind-folds, and proudly proclaim
VICTORY! This isn’t so much unlike our
path in life. We stumble along, hoping
to find someone who speaks the same language we do…who sings the same song…who
has the same hopes, dreams and ideals.
When we find them, the blinders come off and we can see. And if we are really lucky, we are able to
proclaim VICTORY!
Most importantly, we aren't walking along aimlessly
anymore. We are sharing our path with
the person who heard the same word when God gently whispered. For my part, I am blessed that God whispered
the same word into my husband Tim’s ear.
On days when the daily tasks of life seem to overwhelm, thinking of Tim
as my soul-mate brings me back to the best version of myself, and I remember
that I am living a life that is deeper and richer than it sometimes seems on
the surface. I am on a holy journey with
my soul mate and no matter what our destination, the fact that we will go there
together – with God as our traveling companion - helps
me recognize even ordinary moments as sacred.
I wish the same for you, in your marriage!
Jeannie and Tim Steenberge
Jeannie and Tim Steenberge
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