Whispers of the Holy Spirit

When my cousin Jim asked if I would be interested in writing a blog post on marriage I was a little taken back, yes very honored that he would think of us, but also very humbled. See we’ve only been married 8 1⁄2 yrs, babies in our marriage journey, and constantly learning what it means to make a marriage last and be beautiful! In those short 8 1⁄2 years we have been blessed beyond measure. God has given our little family 5 amazing children here on earth and 3 beautiful angles in Heaven. To say the least, we’ve been a bit busy! Within that busyness we’ve picked up bad habits and at times just gone through the motions to make it through whatever season of life we’re facing.

I don’t think that we truly realized we were doing this and how it was affecting us until recently. It all started when our newest was 6wks old. My husband was facing a very challenging project at work and he had to put a lot of time into it. One month turned into two, then three, and it’s still going after 5 1⁄2 months. I feel for him and I am so proud of him for how hard he works for our family; that being said things haven’t been easy. Those little habits of just getting through, toughing it out and trying to “survive” this season stopped working; I realized that we had stopped talking and started blaming.

That never works in a marriage. I had stopped seeing my husband for who he was and instead was frustrated for what he couldn’t do for me.

 What were we going to do? I prayed and prayed and the Holy Spirit kept whispering something into my soul, it took A LOT of whispering for me to hear it! In the craziness of 5 small children and a great husband who was trying to work as hard as he could to provide for us, I had stopped treating him as a soul that needed nurturing. It had become a check list in everything we did.

In October I had the pleasure of hearing Sr. Miriam James speak. She compared our souls to a glass votive. See one day she was in a rush to clean those glass candle holders, she was rushing and she heard someone whisper – “what’s your rush?” And she was late to prayer and a bunch of other things so she told this voice just that. Again, she heard “what’s your rush?” She realized then that it was Christ speaking to her about the many souls in her life. She had become so busy getting things done that she had forgotten to take care of each soul God placed in her path, and if she wasn’t careful she would break those souls just as easily as that glass votive. She had to slow down and love those around her the way they needed to be loved, not the way she wanted to love them.

Ah-ha! That was it. I too had become so busy getting things done (we both had), we had forgotten to stop and love each other the way they needed to be loved.

In the past these seasons were pretty short and we seemed to get out of them much easier, but now this had lasted almost half a year and something had to change. Once I let go of some major pride (you know thinking I was right and had been the perfect person and everything was not my fault), I was able to step back and see the bigger picture. I had to stop and love as Christ has taught us to love, selflessly and sacrificially. That’s what’s meant by marriage is hard. It’s hard to look at someone and see that they need something from you that might not be easy for you to give, but just like any good habit (virtue) the more we practice it the easier it becomes.

So today dinner might not be exactly what I planned, I might not get my run in, and the house is most likely going to be a tad out of order; but I will do everything in my power to make sure my husband and my children feel loved and joy!