HUMILITY

"O Father, give us the humility which realizes its ignorance, admits its mistakes, recognizes its need, welcomes advice, accepts rebuke. Help us always to praise rather than to criticize, to sympathize rather than to discourage, to build rather than to destroy, and to think of people at their best rather than at their worst. This we ask for thy name's sake." - William Barclay

The 'us' in the prayer above can often refer to a married couple - a husband and wife. Even though through sacramental marriage we become 'one flesh', that flesh encompasses two minds, two bodies. Stir in some ego, pride and selfishness, and the boundaries of that oneness can be tested.

In the prayer we plead to God to 'give' and to 'help' - because the sentiments and attitudes being called out do not exist naturally within our hearts - not in the abundance required.

Patience. Forgiveness. Humility. Vulnerability.

Left to our own devices they cannot be continuously obtained and lived. Only through God's Grace - his giving and helping - do we grasp and animate the beauty they define.

We have only recently found this prayer. Its recitation reminds us of God's blueprint of the love we are to have for one another. Both of us can be stubborn, almost to a fault (imagine that!). When opinions differ, a faint undercurrent of antagonism is present (remember that pride and ego?) Slowly the contention rises and soon we are pushing and straining against our oneness, competing for the almighty crown of 'right'.

We wish we could confidently say that after 40+ years of Catholicism, 20 years of marriage, 4 years of TOOLS and countless retreats and spiritual awakenings we 'grasp and animate' this prayer 100% of the time. The truth would reveal that the number is much closer to 50%, if that.

That hurts, as the truth often does.

But growth doesn't happen without strain and pain. Our prayer - for ourselves as well as all of you - is that daily attention to this call to humility strengthens our oneness, and that we hold its wisdom in our heart to draw from in our daily walk together.


--by Jim and Karen Dunne