Jesus Wept

Our son just turned five in February.  He considers himself a big kid now.  And he is in many ways.  He can dress himself, follow directions (when he wants to), have real conversations, and show excitement and interest in our Catholic faith. 

And it’s because of all these “big boy” traits that this year I took Liam with me to cemetery on what would have been my sister’s 28th birthday. 

Greg was working since it was on a weekday this year, so Liam helped me pick out flowers to bring and then walked with me to Katie’s grave to help arrange the flowers.  Before we went, I explained to him again what a cemetery was and why we were going on that day.  Admittedly, I was a little unsure of how he would react and what questions he’d have. 

Because we do talk about my sister and other family members who have died, death was not a new topic for him to hear about.  Maybe that’s why he had the reaction to the cemetery that he did.  He was proud to help arrange the flowers.  Then he asked if we could walk around and look at other gravestones.

We ended up spending half an hour on a beautiful day walking through the cemetery.  He asked about different gravestones and why some were bigger, smaller, or just very different from others.  He asked why some had flowers or balloons and others didn’t.  

Then he asked if we could bring flowers for all the graves that didn’t have any next time we came.  I told him we could, and then I told him about the Corporal Works of Mercy and how he had just performed one.   We talked about why we bury the dead and why we come back to put flowers on graves.  And how nice it was for him to think about the graves without flowers on them. 

Then we talked about the shortest verse in the Bible – John 11:35: “Jesus wept.”  I explained how Jesus showed us it was OK to be sad and miss people, even if we knew we’d see them in Heaven.  He listened and continued looking at the graves as we walked. 

When it was time to go, I looked at him and realized the topics we’d just covered – death, Corporal Works of Mercy, mourning.  It wasn’t forced and I didn’t plan to talk about all those topics with him, but the opportunity was there.  And even though he may not have comprehended everything, I’m glad I took the time to talk about some of the “tough stuff” of life with him.  Because he didn’t fear the cemetery or discussion of death that day.  He saw the peace and beauty there and recognized that he could add to it in a small way. 

So when I go back on May 10^th to take flowers for the anniversary of my sister’s death.  He’ll come with me again.  And this time we’ll bring some extra flowers for those graves that haven’t been visited in a while.  Because, as Liam recognized in his own way, we’re entrusted with the memory of those who have died.  Like Jesus, we can weep and grieve, despite the hope that we’ll be reunited one day.  It’s not an easy lesson or task, and it’s often overlooked as society shies away from discussion of death and dying.  But it’s an important one. 

And sometimes it takes the questions and observations of a five year old big boy to remind us of that.   

MERCY: His Grace, Our Challenge

 “When you are obedient I take away your weakness and replace it with My strength. I am very surprised that souls do not want to make that exchange with Me.” Diary (pg 172, #381)    

   

How often do we attempt to ‘handle it on our own’ or exercise our stubbornness to the utmost of our limits? Why is it that we decline the generous offers of Our Lord with His available graces and blessings? Perhaps it’s simply a matter of trust. Remember the contrasting ends to the lives of St. Dismas and Judas. One was the ‘ultimate thief’ deciding to trust during his final moments of agony essentially ‘stealing heaven’, and one was perhaps the ‘ultimate fool’ in disowning his apostleship with the Christ. Tis amazing how often participation on a team, an organization and/or a family quite frequently exposes one’s flaws and/or leads to newly found reserves of energy and perseverance.

“It is not always within your power to control your feelings. You will recognize that you have love if, after having experienced annoyance and contradiction, you do not lose your peace, but pray for those who have made you suffer and wish them well.” Diary (pg 575, #1628)     

At this midnight hour, the last theme I feel the need to delve into would be mercy. One more exciting episode of ‘The Red Head Express’ starring our two year old took center stage last night. Then again as Daun reminded me, when these little ones come running, it does indeed give our hearts pause. Seeing their faces is yet another all too brief ‘glimpse of Heaven’.  My preference would be to discuss lessons to be learned from a Rocky or Rambo movie, but here’s a story from my beautiful bride on the more appropriate and difficult topic of mercy.

The concepts of mercy and confession have taken on a whole new light now that I am a parent. My guess is I am not alone and we have all wondered or even uttered once or twice during our parenthood: “Why don’t you just do what I ask you to do?”

Last week, our little red headed two-year old was throwing the tantrum of all tantrums, and these exact words came from my mouth. I wanted to tell her how I knew what was best for her and that she should probably just settle down and do what mommy and daddy tell her to do.

Then it dawned on me – how many times am I the one throwing the fit when my Father has very clearly laid out before me what He wants me to do? After all, He knows what is best for me, right? Within a couple days of that incident, I found myself in the confessional asking for the Lord’s forgiveness and attempting to start anew again. Of course, I have fallen since then, but my hope and trust is that the mercy and grace I receive from the Lord, will help make those times I need to get back up a little bit easier.

The question was once asked, why do I need to go to confession? I am just going to sin again. And the answer was as simple as “Why take a shower each day? You are just going to get dirty again.” My prayer is that I may always remember, to never turn away the opportunity to be showered in His mercy.

­­­­­­­­­­This Sunday we celebrate the 15^th Divine Mercy Sunday. It is this original mercy of our Lord, in His sacrifice upon the Cross, that we encountered once again during Holy Week. It is in the writings of the Diary, beads of the Chaplet and Novena prayers that the efforts of St. Faustina are bestowed upon the world, blessed with His approval.

P.S. “You can continue to be at peace if you always do the best you can in respect to this work of mercy. Be absolutely as frank as possible with your confessor.” Diary (pg 537, #1499)    

I make it a rule always to be as Frank as I can with whomever I meet….

Daun & Frank Nesbitt Jr. with Meditations from Our Lord granted to St. Faustina